Jonathan Franzen at the Gates of Hell
I’ve decided to let
This Garrison Keillor guy
Go ahead and read my
Poem on the radio
Even though he sounds
Kind of like a jerk
The way he whistles
When he says the letter
Sssss
But sure ok fine
Go ahead
Read away
And also this Oprah chick
Who tells me she’s
Going to have all these
Middle class women go
And buy my book
At first I was like
Fuck that
I don’t want all these
TV watchers coming down
On my writing
Saying they don’t
“care for it”
They don’t
“get it”
Or I can just picture
It now
Walking out to the TV couch
And Oprah nailing me
Saying she’s found
Out the shit I been
Writing isn’t
Even true
And me sitting there
Blubbering
Trying to come up
With a good lie
But then after thinking
About it for a while I was like
Yeah ok whatever
Go ahead
Go to fucking town
It’s all the same to me man
Just don’t ask me
To do any interviews ok
That’s where
I draw the line
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